Wednesday, September 21, 2005
I'm gonna let it shine
For as much as I'm learning about parenting, the biggest thing is how futile it is to do it without God. I'm not even talking in terms of "Lord, give me strength," because that's not a prayer that's unfamiliar to my heart these days! I'm talking about the day-to-day inclusion of God in life.While I may have this year to be an influence and a light in Alexandra and Lourenzo's lives, I don't have the luxury of a life-long foundation of faith. When I try to instill values into Lourenzo, the single-most important reason for living a virtuous life--because it makes us more like Jesus, and it makes God happy--is a non-issue. It's not even a consideration, and I can't use it as a "bargaining tool," so to speak. I can begin to instill it as a factor, but I can't use it the same way my parents could instill it into me.
I find that I'm constantly working with Lourenzo on values, and the ones that come up most often are politeness and consideration towards others, and honesty and honor. When you promise something, you do it. When you tell me something, you tell the truth. Simple truths that take more than a lifetime to master.
And yet... why do we do this? Well, I do it because God tells me to. I do it because it reflects a strength of character. I do it because it's one more step in allowing God to shape me into a woman who reflects him. I do it because I want to please him, and everything from giving up my seat on the subway to telling the truth is a way to do that.
Without that, what do you get? An upstanding citizen. A "nice" person. Someone trustworthy, but for what? Solid citizenship is one of the most pathetic reasons for raising good children that I've ever heard. Nice in theory, but it's weak. Why would I want to raise human beings whose only reason for doing good is the fallible, faulty humans around them? That's not a standard that I want to be held to. That's not good enough to look up to. Most of the people I know aren't good enough to be my raison d'etre. I'm not good enough to be anyone else's raison d'etre.
It makes me so much more acutely aware of the futility of a faithless life.
What's my motivation? The classic, and oft-parodied, theatre line. Why am I walking here? Why do I say this? Why do I hit her? Why do I hug him? Why do I enter the room? What's my motivation? The stronger the motivation, the more believable the scene. When you get a weak motivation, that's when you look like you're acting, and there's nothing worse than looking like you're acting. It just doesn't work. It's fake. It's a facade, and everyone knows it. If your motivation is solid, and you have a good reason, and you believe it, the audience will believe it, and for those moments, they will step into a different world with you.
What's my motivation? Why do I live a "good" life? The stronger the motivation, the stronger the character. It works both ways. It works in life, and it works onstage.
So, I look at the year ahead, and I know that I'll do my best to show a different motivation. I can't change anyone's motivation. I can't make them choose a different way because of me. But I can do my best to keep my motivation pure. To be polite and honest and trustworthy and loyal and hardworking, and to show Lourenzo what those things look like, yes, but to show him a better--a right--reason for doing them.
And know that when I'm raising my kids, I don't have to be censored. It just reinforces the importance and long-lasting effects of a legacy and living in the grips of faith from generations past.
2 Comments:
Your mother's heart is warmed to know that you have learned something about the legacy of faith as you have grown up, and to see how you understand the reasons for living out your faith. Thank you, Lord!
It also bears remembering that "polite" society is almost universally based on some sort of Judeo-Christian principles, so in the long run that is, indeed, where it comes from. Most people don't realize or recognize it these days, though, and so believe that one's behavior/actions is more what they choose to do or how to live, rather than striving towards than an absolute standard. There are many "nice" people out there, but the bottom line is that ethical living comes from the standard that God sets for us. Glad you are figuring that out.
I pray that Alexandra and Lourenzo will come to know that, as well. Shine on, Chickie!!
Well this is the second time I have tried to send you a message. My first one was definately a bit more heartfelt and entertaining than this one will ever be. Most of my thoughts seem to be a one "shot deal".
I should have been reading over my Cardiovascular Anatomy and Physiology textbook, but instead I caught up on a few weeks worth of your entries. I learned more by reading your blogs than reading my textbook.
Alida, Thank you for sharing with us your wisdom, and grace. I am very proud of you. You are truly a woman of God!
Love,
Aunty Tammy
Post a Comment
<< Home